Most people get woken up by their toddlers shaking them, slapping them, or even bouncing on their heads. Not me. I got woken up this morning by Walker pouring the cup of coffee that James left on the counter on my face. I dreamed I was drowning and woke up in a panic. His mission was accomplished. I haven’t gotten out of bed that fast in a long time. I can only be thankful that it was no longer hot. I was mad. Seriously, who wouldn’t be? I grumbled all the way to the bathroom, cleaned the coffee off my face, neck, and out of my ear, and forced a weak smile. That’s all I could do. It was time to get Gabes ready for school anyways, so I got his clothes out, and as he got dressed and brushed his hair and teeth, I got Walker changed out of his wet pull-up, made him some milk, turned on his tablet, and got him snuggled into my bed so i could walk Gabes outside to wait on the bus. I told him not to get up, but the entire time I was outside in the driveway waiting on that bus, I worried. The bus came, Gabes loaded up, and I ran back up the driveway, and into the house like I was on fire, only to find Walker tucked into my bed, right where I had left him 7 minutes earlier. A sigh of relief washed over me. He listened. He stayed out of trouble! That tablet was the best thing we ever….what’s that in the floor? Its pink and gooey. I got down eye level with the floor to investigate further. What the… there was a trail of it leading through the livingroom into the bathroom. Down on all 4’s on the floor, I decided to throw what was left of my dignity out the window and I sniffed it like a dang bloodhound. The scent was familiar, but being that I had washed my face with coffee instead of drinking it, my morning brain couldnt place it. It smelled like… minty… bubblegum? I saw him watching me through the corner of his eye as I followed the trail through the house. Halfway to the bathroom, it hit me. That smell! Toothpaste! I ran faster to the bathroom, flung open the door, and there in the sink, was the contents of an entire tube of bubble gum flavored, peppa pig toothpaste. <sigh> Ok, at least it’s in the sink, right? I started to turn to walk out when I noticed something silver in the midst of the sticky puddle. What in the…….I grabbed the silver tip and pulled. Unraveling from the squeezed-out mess in the sink, came my new ear buds. The light pink ones that I have been looking for, that matched that peppa pig toothpaste so perfectly that they were almost undetectable. WALKER!!! I see him still laying in my bed. I reached under the cabinet to get a towel to wipe off the earbuds, and as I’m squatting down, I notice a green marker lid. Hmmm… I cleaned the bathroom last night after they were asleep and that was NOT there. I stood up and starting searching all the walls. Yep. Green marker on the playroom wall with the top-less marker on the floor beside it. I go get Walker, still innocently laying in my bed, and hand him a rag to begin cleaning. He obliges. He knows he doesn’t have a choice. We then go into the bathroom where I instruct him to wipe the toothpaste out of the sink. I turned to get the stool, and he had already climbed up on the toilet and onto the sink and was EATING the toothpaste lumped in the corner of the sink. In between gags, I hand him the rag and he begins wiping it up (smearing it). He then moves onto the trail throughout the house while I get Matthew up and dressed. We eat breakfast and load up in the car to run some Amazon packages to the UPS store to be returned. (Thanks, Gabes). After 45 minutes of chasing them around and picking up postcards they’ve sprinkled all over the floor, we finally got all 72 water guns shoved into one big box, because apparently they had to be returned in one box, even though they shipped in 2? Whatever. At least we could leave now. As I pulled out of the parking lot, I was planning on taking them to the library, but the ride home suddenly became quiet. I heard the raging snores of Matthew, and saw slobber drip from Walker’s dangling lips in my rear view mirror. They were both asleep! I turned right instead of left and headed home. I pulled in the driveway, unbuckled, and suddenly remembered that I have never successfully been able to get Walker in the house without waking him up, and Matthew is always iffy. I changed my game plan several times before deciding the best way to handle this situation. So, if anyone sees me in my car, sitting in my driveway with the windows cracked, eating the snacks out of my kids’ diaper bag for several hours, just know that I chose this.